Stop Overhyping the Bare Minimum
Jawns are so useless, and dudes are making up ways to make their girl sound useful when they’re in love. It’s wild how men lie to themselves and everybody else.
They’ll say something like:
“My girl made me a baked chicken leg quarter in the oven and served it on a plate. How would I have ever survived the rest of my adult life without her?”
Then, goofy broads in the comments are like:
“See, men need us! Y’all would die without us!”
Meanwhile, before that, the dude was microwaving meals and surviving just fine.
I remember when a guy didn’t have a comforter for his bed or a shower curtain set, and he hyped it up like he survived the apocalypse when his girl came through with the basics.
Or take a simp like Boyce Watkins, who once said:
“Ayo, guys, a quality woman will save your life. Before I met my wife, I was eating fried chicken, and after I met her, I started eating grilled chicken. As a grown man with money and access to the internet, this was such a difficult transition without my woman.”
Boyce, really? You didn’t need a woman for that; you needed a grill and a little self-respect.
More Examples of Men Overhyping Basic Help
Here are some other hilarious examples of dudes putting women on pedestals for things they could’ve done themselves with five minutes of effort:
1. The Broke Bachelor Upgrade
“I used to sleep on a mattress on the floor and use old T-shirts as pillowcases. Then my girl bought me a $20 sheet set from Walmart, and I swear my life changed forever. I don’t know how I made it without her.”
Translation: You were lazy, not incapable.
2. The Grocery Savior
“Before my girl, I didn’t know you could buy spices besides salt and pepper. Now I got paprika and garlic powder in my cabinet. She really leveled me up, bro!”
Reality: Spices are $2 and labeled in big letters. The bar was that low?
3. The IKEA Miracle Worker
“Man, I used to have a lawn chair in my living room. Then my girl came through and got me a couch from IKEA. She’s my queen for that.”
Truth Bomb: You had the money but not the motivation. IKEA even includes pictures in the instructions.
4. The Closet Hero
“I was out here with four pairs of pants and three shirts, but my girl took me shopping, and now I know about matching outfits. She’s the real MVP.”
Observation: She didn’t teach you style; she played dress-up with a grown man.
5. The Dinner Table Testimony
“Before my girl, I ate dinner standing over the sink. Now we eat at a $60 dining table. She’s my everything.”
Reality Check: You didn’t need her; you needed Amazon Prime and self-respect.
6. The Fitness Glow-Up
“I used to eat chips and soda for dinner. Now my girl makes me smoothies with kale. She saved my life, y’all.”
Laughable: Bro, Google had smoothie recipes before she showed up.
7. The Cleanliness Upgrade
“Before my girl, I didn’t even know you could mop a floor. Now my house smells like pine and lemon. She’s a goddess.”
Real Talk: Men have been cleaning caves since the Stone Age. What’s your excuse?
8. The Decorated Life
“She put up curtains in my apartment and added throw pillows on the couch. I didn’t know homes could feel this cozy.”
Reality: Target and Bed Bath & Beyond didn’t just open yesterday.
9. The Health-Conscious Savior
“Before my wife, I was eating ramen and fast food. Now I eat quinoa and salmon, like a king. I owe her everything.”
The Joke: You owe YouTube cooking channels for teaching her how to boil quinoa.
10. The Budgeting Saint
“My girl helped me organize my bills and stop overdrafting my account. She’s a genius with finances.”
Hard Truth: The bank app sends reminders. You didn’t need Einstein; you needed discipline.
11. The Birthday Blow-Up
“I never celebrated my birthday until my girl threw me a party at Applebee’s. She changed my life.”
Question: You didn’t know how to tell people to show up with a cake?
Final Thoughts
It’s one thing to appreciate your partner, but hyping up basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, or decorating as if they’re revolutionary acts is straight-up embarrassing. Men need to stop lying to themselves and everyone else to justify their dependence.
If a woman adds real value to your life, it should go beyond what you could’ve done for yourself with minimal effort. Stop overhyping the bare minimum—it’s not a flex; it’s self-deception.