I consider myself somewhat of a social scientist, a social alchemist if you will. I like to know things, so I occasionally talk to women just to gauge how bad it really is out here.
I was conversing with a single mother of 3, divorced for a few years looking to be married again someday. She has her own money, a Middle-class income ($30-50k), lives at home with her parents.
I asked her what she was looking for in a potential husband?
She said a guy with a decent income & job, a man who can take care of himself. I was like, what’s a decent income? Because a man making minimum wage, depending on where he is, if he’s smart with his money, lives within his means, she doesn’t have to worry about taking care of him as opposed to a guy with no job.
She went on a rant about how he can’t do anything for her. Mind you, she didn’t say anything about her, she said him, & I pointed that out to her, I said that he would be self-sufficient. She went right back to what he could do for her & how her bills are more than 4X what he brings in. So, in reality, when she said she was looking for a man that could take care of himself and made a good wage, she really meant a decent job and wage to take care of her. She acted like “no, I have my own money, I don’t need his” but that’s what it boils down to. What’s funny is she’s living at home with her parents, whereas the guy I was describing had no kids, had ambition & had no debt. More than likely staying in his means meant renting a room & taking public transportation.
Then she talked about expensive dates that he couldn’t afford to take her on, because the dude would be saving every penny he made.
Bitches always talk that “I’m not waiting for a man to get his shit together” nonsense, meanwhile their whole lives are in shambles, and they want us to be patient while they fix themselves. They make a bit more money than the degenerates they’re use to dating, and then think or front like that’s having it all together, that is until you see right through the shit they’re talking, then it’s “be patient while I heal”, never mind they themselves aren’t mentality prepared to date. The man must meet every expectation, while they have every major flaw & red flag, in alphabetical order.
Her excuse for living with her parents? She wants to buy a house. She herself didn’t have it all together, but she was knocking someone who’s making minimum wage, “what can he do for me? He sure can’t take me on no $150-200 dates”. 😂
Mind you, she herself is renting a room, she can’t be with a man who makes minimum wage & manages his money better because he couldn’t afford her outrageous monthly expenses. Get this, even with her monthly expenses, she clips coupons to save a few bucks, she tries to watch her spending AND she still has student loan debt while the man I presented, working minimum has NO DEBT, NO KIDS, and by zero debt I mean no mortgage, no car note, no student loans. Student loans are the worst kind of debt to have.
She said she’d never look the way of someone working minimum wage & thank the universe! Those men have a shot at real happiness without getting involved with someone toxic like that. The more Black men talk, follow & network with each other, the less you’ll fall into the clutches of toxic manipulators.
One more thing, she acknowledged that she would be single forever & played it off like she didn’t care, but she was having emotional breakdowns about it throughout the day.
At least women are becoming more honest & that’s the first step towards accepting their outcome.